Short answer

Situation Best expression Meaning in English
Addressing someone politely last name + さん

Example: 田中さん (Tanaka-san), 山田さん (Yamada-san)

Mr./Ms./Mrs.～
To get attention すみません or すいません

Example: すみません、ちょっといいですか？ (Excuse me, do you have a moment?)

Excuse me

Summary

Overview Table

Good Bad Not Recommended
Topic Summary Recommendation Formality Rudeness Main User
Last name + suffix
  • ～さん
  • ～君
  • ～ちゃん
  • ～様
 Very High High Very Low ♂ ♀
titles
  • 先生(-sensei, teacher)
  • 先輩(-senpai, senior)
  • 部長(-buchou, manager)
  • 課長(-kachou, section chief)
  • 店長(-tenchou, store manager)
 High High Very Low ♂ ♀
First name use For close relationships only Low Low High ♂ ♀
Without saying others' names
  • 「すみません」
  • 「あのう」
  • 「ちょっといいですか」
  • 「お願いします」
 High High Very Low ♂ ♀
"You"
  • あなた
  • あんた
  • きみ
  • おまえ
  • きさま
  • てめぇ
 Low Low Very high ♂ ♀

1. Using Someone's Last Name + Suffix

Point Details Recommendation
Last name + さん Neutral and polite; safe for almost all situations, and most useful for strangers, acquaintances, coworkers, and even some friends. Very High
Last name + くん For younger men, male juniors, or close relationships. Not very common. Low
Last name + ちゃん For children, close friends, or affectionate contexts. Low
Last name + さま Too polite; for customers, clients, or formal writing. High
Title Common in formal or role-based settings. Examples: 先生 (teacher), 先輩 (senior), 部長 (manager), 課長 (section chief), 店長 (store manager). High
Name + Title Used when adding extra politeness or clarity in formal settings. Examples: 田中先生, 佐藤部長, 山田先輩. High
First-name only Usually reserved for very close friends, family, or romantic partners. Otherwise, it can sound overly familiar or even very rude. Low
Last-name only Calling someone by their last name without a suffix is often done by bosses and can sound rude unless the relationship is extremely close. Very Low

2. To get Someone's Attention Without Using Their Name

Expression Usage
「すみません」 most universal
「ちょっと」 informal, but common
「あのう」 soft, hesitant
「お願いします」 service situations

3. "すみません" — The Most Common Way to Call Someone

Point Details
Usage Used constantly to call someone's attention.
Meanings "Excuse me"
"Sorry to bother you"
"Could I have your attention"
Typical situations calling a waiter in a restaurant
calling a coworker from across the room
calling someone you don't know well
starting a conversation politely
Why it works It acknowledges the other person's time and effort, making it the safest and most natural option in many situations.

4. "あのう / あの” — Softening the Approach

Point Details
Usage Used when you want to call someone gently or when you feel hesitant.
Expresses politeness
hesitation
respect
a desire not to interrupt too strongly
When to use Often used before asking a question or making a request.
Example 「あのう、ちょっとよろしいでしょうか。」
"Um, may I ask you something?"

5. "ちょっといいですか” — Polite

Point Details
Usage Common in workplaces.
Meanings "Do you have a moment"
"May I speak with you briefly"
Who it works with Polite and neutral; works with seniors, juniors, and coworkers.
Example Used when approaching someone's desk or calling them from behind.

6. "お願いします” - Calling for Help

Point Details
Main usage When you need someone to do something, especially in service situations.
Examples calling a taxi driver
asking a clerk to assist
requesting help in an office
Nuance It expresses both a request and politeness.

7. Ways to say "You"

Word Nuance / Risk
あなた too direct, and not natural in most situations
あんた very rude and confrontational
きみ too familiar to use with strangers or superiors
おまえ very rude
きさま overly aggressive
てめぇ overly aggressive